Whip It Good

I just bought this yesterday after my electric Weedeater's spool mechanism wore out after two years of trimming my 1/3 acre. I previously owned a 4 cycle Craftsman that worked pretty well but had been stolen by my ex, which is another story, and I was tired of schlepping an electric cord around the property. My trimming needs are a combination of weedy patches near a long back fence, garden beds, lawn edging and around ground cover.

My local Sears store was my last stop of a busy day. They were very pleasant and even fun to visit with. I looked at my options one more time and decided that at $70, this trimmer would probably do the job and fit my sense of "cheap enough. There was no way that I'd wait until morning to set it up and try it out. Set-up was nothing, really, except affixing the string guard. I mixed the supplied 3.2 ounce bottle of 2 cycle oil with a gallon of gas (in an approved container), reviewed the Quick Start instructions, followed the steps and it started right up.

This trimmer has PLENTY of power to edge, trim around and under bushes and drive weeds to extinction. I did the entire property on idle except for those moments I felt the need to rev the thing, just to see what it could do. It's easy to handle and surprisingly light with the "D" handle at just the right balance point. The plastic cover on the engine is properly placed so that in normal use, I never once touched the hot engine with my arm, which did happen with my prior 4 cycle model. The supplied starter-amount of dual-spool trim line fed on demand and lasted for my entire trim session. The vibration was about the same as any other trimmer I've ever used. In general, this trimmer felt solid yet quite light and - get this - was less of a strain than my now-dead electric trimmer.

In short, this trimmer is Craftsman quality, works great and is less filling. I highly recommend it.

NOTE: Be sure to wear hearing protection, wrap-around eye protection (not just eyeglasses, if you're a wearer), proper shoes and work clothes when using this or any power tool.

Groupon - This Way To The Egress

I have to admit that when Groupon first launched, I was fascinated by the seemingly deep discounts available through their sales and promotion service. Unfortunately for me, spa days and deep tissue massage in Dumont and Montclair and sushi for five in Hoboken don't really speak to my needs. So, after receiving Groupon's clever e-mail offers daily for something like a year, I was hooked by a concert deal for a measly fifteen bucks a ticket. Offered was a classical orchestral program not with the local YMCA concert band, but with the St. Petersburg Orchestra, promising a program of romantic-period music I really like, including Chopin. Good. Good and cheeeep. Like I like it. So, I bought the deal.

For those of you who have been living under an internet rock, here's how Groupon works: they arrange a "deal" with a local merchant and then offer it to their gigantic database of subscribers. Typically, the discounts are ridiculous, like $499 for a Sealy Memory-Foam mattress that would normally sell for $1200 or $100 for $500 in laser hair removal. Useful if you like bare, stubble-free legs on a comfy bed, otherwise, not so much so. But that's the idea - high-ticket items that are normally not discounted at all, discounted. Sounds good, if you have the disposable income to enjoy such deals. The reality, though, is not so nice.

First of all, Groupon deals are carefully worded and often vague, if one really wants to drill down to the terms. As a purely hypothetical example based on my observation of deals I've seen, let's say Groupon offers a deal that touts $2000 worth of dental veneers for $500 at a particular dentist. That is a gigantic break but, to be sure, there's no such thing as a free lunch, and this becomes clear when considering the restrictive terms of the deal. Hold on, now, if you're thinking I'm going to be critical of Groupon or the vendor because they have carefully defined how, when and where you can use your newly-purchased Groupon deal. One can't get something for nothing and it should be accepted that there are "catches" with which to contend. I'm good with that, but I think many look at the deal and feel cheated when the terms modify the deal enough so that it seems like a major compromise. People are funny like that. "It said a trip around the world for 10 percent of the MSRP, but I have to do it next week or not at all - what a rip-off."

I'm also not an apologist for Groupon. I think the terms should come way before the clever and cutesy marketing copy and that those terms should be crystal clear, but they wouldn't sell many Groupons that way, because, as I said before, people are funny like that. We want to be sold, seduced, into making a reasonable decision regarding the parting of ways with our moolah. And Groupon's job is to sell deals. They're not our buddies and it's not an exclusive club. It's free to "subscribe" to their mailing list, which is filtered by general proximity of the subscriber to the given deal, hence leaving out great bargains in LA for those feisty New Yorkers who simply must know all the bargains.

In my example, the pitch is for two tickets to a classical concert for a whopping 75% discount. Would I schlep to Newark to see a second-string orchestra for $80 a ticket? Probably not. But for $65 off, I'm in, especially since the deal promises Orchestra seating. Or Loge, which is behind that. Or Balcony, which is up and behind. On a will-call, unreserved basis, which means my tickets will be all the way to the right, at the last row of the front balcony. How much are tickets in that position usually? Yup: $20. Sigh. So, I not only don't have reserved seats, but I don't get the parking voucher I would normally get, I have to get to the theatre at least an HOUR before the performance and the seats are going to be decidedly non-premium. Sigh, again. Too late: the deal's been paid for and I can use it OR schlep to the theatre to get a refund, as long as I arrived, you guessed it, an hour before the show and, of course, pay for parking . . .

And that's the way all "bargains" are: not what we would want, which is something for nothing, and probably not all that great compared to a full-price deal. Oh, well, that's not Groupon's problem. They do lay out the details though they aren't using a yellow highlighter to say, "Hey, look, over here, here's some rules you probably won't like." It's my job and yours to be an informed consumer, like it or not.

Scooped By Skype and Rebtel

I don't do a whole lot of overseas calling, but I do know plenty of people that rely on Skype to stay in touch with their families in Germany, Spain, Switzerland, Austria, Poland and the UK. Without Skype, these folks would be utterly isolated because the cost of overseas calling is nearly usurious. Many Skype services are free and their basic international subscriptions start at under nine bucks a month.

So, what's the big deal? I use VOIP (Voice Over Internet Protocol) via Magic Jack and have done for some time. It's reliable and dirt cheap, considering the only reason I have a line "tethered" to my house is . . . you know, I don't really know why. Perhaps it's because cell service could go down and, in case of emergency, like a frickin' heart attack, I would like to imagine that I could get me dog to knock the phone off the desk so that I could call for the EMTs and not get, "Sorry, all circuits are busy now. Please try your call again from the afterlife." I used to have, like most folks, a real, hard-copper line but I wound up never using it except as a backup. My cellphone has been my sole mode of contact by voice and now, text and e-mail, for at least five years.

So, there are a whole host of service available to not replace, but to augment cell-phone service. After all, cell service is a personal point of contact rather than a connection to an organization, like a home. Yes, a home is an organization - if it isn't for you, I would suggest it's time to take a fresh look at what's going on at your house. Anywho, if you want to have a home identity and you need to make calls overseas, there are a whole host of choices, like Vonage, who I personally dislike and services like the aformentioned Skype and Rebtel, which offers a range of domestic and international calling that's web-based but tailored to a variety of interfaces so that it's easy to use and pretty darn cheap.

Vonage is currently running a promotion targeted at international callers that slashes their international one-pay rate from $14.99 to $9.99 a month for three months. But why do that when you can get Magic Jack for twenty bucks a year and get Rebtel's offer for international calls at under $8 a month for the foreseeable future? I think Vonage has missed the mark yet again, chasing down customers by implying reliability by spending tons on advertising. Same internet, same technology, so, why pay too much? I don't get it. It seems more than a little condescending. Oh, well: as usual, caveat emptor - let the buyer beware!

Olive Garden Doesn't Suck

Generally speaking, I wouldn't dare consider myself an elitist gourmand, but I do know good food when I eat it. Still, my restaurant choices leave some scratching their heads in rancor. In fact, I've been roundly criticised by European friends, who are naturally at the pinnacle of good taste, being that they're Eurotrash and all, for my stalwart defence of  some chain eateries. Yes, they know the hippest places to get a drunk on (Ludlow Street) and the best places to eat. Like Nine in Hoboken. And Outback.

Outback? Wha? These Euro-dudes and dudettes absolutely SWEAR by Outback. (Ja! Der Bloomin' Onion ist der schitt!) Oh, I'm sorry. Are you an Outback fan? Friended them on Facebook, have you? If so, I'm sorry. Outback, in the humblest possible mode of my typically know-it-all opinion, is pedestrian at best and barely edible at worst. I believe that these foreign folks love Outback because it epitomizes an American's middle-class view of what a "good" restaurant should offer - 'choice' this and 'prime' that with lots of fat and portions bigger than your face. Dipped in oil. Lathered with butter. Accompanied by limp vegetables that are there, let's face it, only for decoration. Gross, and pretty typical for an American chain joint. G'day, my butt. Er.

In the face of these misguided jibes, I counter with Olive Garden, to peals of laughter and derision. In turn, I wave them off because (bullet list follows:)

• Fresh food, properly cooked, quality ingredients
• Rotating menu, innovative and varied dishes
• Northern Italian-style cuisine - a refreshing change from typical parmesan-ed-to-death dishes
• Reasonable pricing
• Substantial portions
• Fresh salad, excellent soups, either of which is included with entrees
• Pleasant, almost-classic wait service that isn't condescending or coated with buddy-artifice

In fact, I snubbed a local high-brow joint (with entrees starting at the thirty-buck mark and freakin' brushetta at $12 per) for a repeat visit to the Olive Garden closest to me. Seemed like a great idea at the time.

Perhaps Saturday nights are not the time to visit the OG. There was a massively long wait, no room whatsoever at the bar, a long wait for drink service and starters at the table, no (super-tasty) bread sticks until the ever-forgetful waiter came by to offer "more" bread sticks, which made everyone at the table laugh, over-cooked and over-wrought everything, (even the breadsticks that finally arrived an hour into the meal, no re-up offers on the drinks, which cost the waiter 10% of what would have been a fifty-buck bar bill and, get this, no water. What the heck?

Have I had the good fortune of hitting Olive Gardens in six states on just the right day and time, at the exact moment when the moons of dining service and quality aligned? I hope not, because that would be even more disappointing than dinner last night. And that would also make my Euro-buds right on the money and we can't have that, can we?

Arthur's St. Moritz

I was surprised that the parking lot was full when we got there on Saturday, around 6:45. Popular place, I thought, which must be a good sign. There's no valet parking, so we waited for a spot. When we got into the restaurant, the maitre d' took my name and told us we'd have a twenty minute wait. I was again surprised, but we sat at the bar while I tried to convince my date to have an Irish coffee. Though the bar wasn't all that busy, it took a bit of time for one of the two bartenders to actually come over and take an order and quite some time to take my money. I'm not sure why the service was this way since there were only glasses to put away. The bartender was pleasant, though the on-tap Bass was slightly flat.

After we sat down, our server came by right away just to let us know that we were noticed. We had nachos as an appetizer and they were disappointing since they used marinara sauce in place of salsa and Cheez Whiz, apparently. The well-done steak was still pink in the middle but rather dry, chewy and not very tasty, served with three standard-issue onion rings. I had some kind of "Country Chicken" dish which was a chicken breast stuffed with sausage and sage and wrapped in applewood smoked bacon. It sure sounded good, but the stuffing was bland and the chicken was kind of gamey, probably due to the over-greasy smoke flavour of the bacon. It was served with canned cranberry sauce, cold, and flavourless whipped potatoes. For dessert, there was a super-cocoa-y lava cake that was pudding-like and mushy to the touch, served with canned whip cream and a couple of strawberries. Yow. The coffee was watery. So, all in all, not exactly a taste treat and with a bill topping up at $60 for two, at least double than what I would expect from a diner for below-diner-par food.

The environment was pleasant though plain. Many families were eating there since it's the one place in the area with a substantial dining room, I'm guessing. The server was very pleasant but busy enough to forget bringing water after she had suggested it and harried enough to forget lighting our candle. Being on wait staff is hard work, to be sure and never is it the server's fault when they're overwhelmed by waiting a dozen tables at a time: you try it. At least it was warm and comfortable and the acoustics were good so that although the place was packed, it was easy to have a normal conversation without feeling that one was intruding on other tables. We were there late enough on a Saturday night to here a little bit of the band, which was a ridiculously-sized 14-piece affair stuffed into the tiny dance-floor space beyond the bar.

I definitely don't mind paying a fair price for a good meal but I get the impression that Arthur's St. Moritz isn't firing on all cylinders. The food attempts to reach but definitely doesn't make it and paying a premium for worn-out ambience doesn't appeal, either. So, it's a "meh" experience that I'd avoid repeating. Too bad, really, too bad.