I have to admit that when Groupon first launched, I was fascinated by the seemingly deep discounts available through their sales and promotion service. Unfortunately for me, spa days and deep tissue massage in Dumont and Montclair and sushi for five in Hoboken don't really speak to my needs. So, after receiving Groupon's clever e-mail offers daily for something like a year, I was hooked by a concert deal for a measly fifteen bucks a ticket. Offered was a classical orchestral program not with the local YMCA concert band, but with the St. Petersburg Orchestra, promising a program of romantic-period music I really like, including Chopin. Good. Good and cheeeep. Like I like it. So, I bought the deal.
For those of you who have been living under an internet rock, here's how Groupon works: they arrange a "deal" with a local merchant and then offer it to their gigantic database of subscribers. Typically, the discounts are ridiculous, like $499 for a Sealy Memory-Foam mattress that would normally sell for $1200 or $100 for $500 in laser hair removal. Useful if you like bare, stubble-free legs on a comfy bed, otherwise, not so much so. But that's the idea - high-ticket items that are normally not discounted at all, discounted. Sounds good, if you have the disposable income to enjoy such deals. The reality, though, is not so nice.
First of all, Groupon deals are carefully worded and often vague, if one really wants to drill down to the terms. As a purely hypothetical example based on my observation of deals I've seen, let's say Groupon offers a deal that touts $2000 worth of dental veneers for $500 at a particular dentist. That is a gigantic break but, to be sure, there's no such thing as a free lunch, and this becomes clear when considering the restrictive terms of the deal. Hold on, now, if you're thinking I'm going to be critical of Groupon or the vendor because they have carefully defined how, when and where you can use your newly-purchased Groupon deal. One can't get something for nothing and it should be accepted that there are "catches" with which to contend. I'm good with that, but I think many look at the deal and feel cheated when the terms modify the deal enough so that it seems like a major compromise. People are funny like that. "It said a trip around the world for 10 percent of the MSRP, but I have to do it next week or not at all - what a rip-off."
I'm also not an apologist for Groupon. I think the terms should come way before the clever and cutesy marketing copy and that those terms should be crystal clear, but they wouldn't sell many Groupons that way, because, as I said before, people are funny like that. We want to be sold, seduced, into making a reasonable decision regarding the parting of ways with our moolah. And Groupon's job is to sell deals. They're not our buddies and it's not an exclusive club. It's free to "subscribe" to their mailing list, which is filtered by general proximity of the subscriber to the given deal, hence leaving out great bargains in LA for those feisty New Yorkers who simply must know all the bargains.
In my example, the pitch is for two tickets to a classical concert for a whopping 75% discount. Would I schlep to Newark to see a second-string orchestra for $80 a ticket? Probably not. But for $65 off, I'm in, especially since the deal promises Orchestra seating. Or Loge, which is behind that. Or Balcony, which is up and behind. On a will-call, unreserved basis, which means my tickets will be all the way to the right, at the last row of the front balcony. How much are tickets in that position usually? Yup: $20. Sigh. So, I not only don't have reserved seats, but I don't get the parking voucher I would normally get, I have to get to the theatre at least an HOUR before the performance and the seats are going to be decidedly non-premium. Sigh, again. Too late: the deal's been paid for and I can use it OR schlep to the theatre to get a refund, as long as I arrived, you guessed it, an hour before the show and, of course, pay for parking . . .
And that's the way all "bargains" are: not what we would want, which is something for nothing, and probably not all that great compared to a full-price deal. Oh, well, that's not Groupon's problem. They do lay out the details though they aren't using a yellow highlighter to say, "Hey, look, over here, here's some rules you probably won't like." It's my job and yours to be an informed consumer, like it or not.
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